Worn down

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The Twelve Apostles, a group of limestone pillars off the south coast of Victoria. There are only eight pillars remaining.

The Twelve Apostles, a group of limestone pillars off the south coast of Victoria. There are only eight pillars remaining.

Chronic illness wears you down like a rock. Even when you have had good days and you start to think things may be looking better, things may be turning around… there it is again… the feeling of unwell. Drowning in pain and temperature and confusion. No one knows what it is like and the people looking at you can not even tell.

Like a rock, will you be worn down until you become smaller than a grain of sand, until you become nothing?

17 responses »

  1. No no no no Nooooo!!!! *wraps Lisa in a massive hug*
    You will not be worn away to nothing!! You have so much inside you that is stronger than the illness!!!
    I do understand this feeling, you know I do. But try to remember that the bad days pass. As bloody annoying and sometimes as devestating as they are, they do pass. Then we get the better days again. You just have to get through the bad ones. And I know you know this, but when the bad days gang up on you, it doesn’t feel like it, does it?!
    I wish we lived in the same country, you know. We could chat on the phone and gossip about our fibro – slag it off and call it names and cheer each other up 🙂 but I’ll have to make do with a few lines of written words instead. You are *so much* more than your illness. Dont ever forget that.
    I hope you feel better soon, petal xxx

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  2. Sometimes is seems that way. In my case, it’s more like a brisk rubdown with sandpaper, then a period where I remain stable within a “new normal”, followed by more sandpapering, then more time in a new “new normal”, and so on.

    Yes, at some point one will lose the battle, so one needs to focus on the new normal phases and make the most of that time! We all experience continuous entropy from the moment of conception. Some of us just take longer to burn out.

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    • The new normal… that says it all. And it’s wrapped in layers of paper and you can’t tell what it is like until you reach the middle. I just don’t want to be in a downhill slide into nothing. A bumpy twisty roller coaster ride would be more fun.

      I haven’t been reading lately, I hope the boys have been behaving 🙂

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