What does that mean- women of a certain age?
I was busily dottering around my house today when this phrase jumped into my head.
Why, oh why? Who is this woman of a certain age. This is not me- or is it?
Am I starting to act this way? Like a little girl trying on heels and clumping around, practising what she will inevitably do once teenager hood hits and she can’t wait to take on makeup and heels and long jewellery and handbags. Even those of us who were not really “girly girls” we were drawn to practise nonetheless. As I entered teenager hood Madonna brought a new rebel version of womanhood, thankfully. I still remember jumping off my bus once it hit the city, to head into the amazing accessories shop that had an abundance of rubber bracelets, especially in my beloved black.
Anyway, I digress. Women of a certain age. Who are these women? What do they do that sets them apart? I looked it up. Urban dictionary came to my rescue, of course.
Woman of a Certain Age:
Ironically polite term for a woman who does not want her actual age known, e.g. one who is close to or just over the menopause. Things which define women of a certain age are: exceptionally gaudy clothing, homeopathy and aromatherapy, sensible haircuts, books on feminism, affairs with paper boys, and coffee mornings.
OMG exceptionally gaudy clothing. I think it’s me. I’m wearing utter crap. I actually often wear daggy clothing. But now that’s a sign I’m nearing menopause. Really?
Homeopathy and aromatherapy? What because women of a certain age smell? Or like to smell nice smells more than others? Really? I have candles. Sometimes they are lit, many times they are not.
Sensible haircuts. No I fail at that one. I’m not there yet that’s for sure. I have crazy hair. My Mother has a sensible haircut. She’s obviously a woman of a certain age.
Books on feminism? Who has these? University lecturers maybe? Negative, out of over 1000 books in my house there’s not one on feminism. That doesn’t mean I don’t support feminism though. Because I do. I follow “Destroy the Joint” on Facebook, maybe that counts? But I follow lots of different social justice issues. Oh dear. Does that mean I’m old, well, a woman of a certain age?
Affairs with paper boys? Shit I wish, lol. Probably should try getting the paper delivered. But in my area I think there’s an older man who delivers the papers. Fail.
Coffee mornings? That would require being out and about in a morning hour, and possibly having friends. I have trouble on both counts.
Close to or just over the menopause? I don’t think this characteristic works. Not to get too technical, but menopause can happen to a 40 year old even though the average age of menopause is 51. Unless of course, we think women’s behaviour changes with their hormones. Noooooo.
And finally, a woman who does not want her actual age known. I don’t mind telling my age. But when I turn 43 or 44 or 45 I’m not sure. (I wrote this post thinking I was 42 but then remembered I’m only 41. Does forgetting your age count towards being a woman of a certain age? Bugger).
According to the definitive checklist on urban dictionary I don’t completely fit the description of a woman of a certain age. Yet I’ve started vaguely wandering around in my own world and I thought that would be a sure sign. Could wondering what a woman of a certain age is, actually be the beginning of transformation into said woman?
What I think really is necessary is a new definition of a woman of a certain age. Then I’ll be able to move on.
Woman of a certain age:
A woman who, through living a full and interesting life for many years, has decided to not give a shit about what anyone thinks. She does what she wants when she wants, buys what she loves, dresses in a way that pleases her, pursues activities that are personally rewarding and enjoys life with no restriction. A woman of a certain age leads a happy and fulfilling life at her own pace and according to her own priorities.
(Definition by me, 2014)
Phew. I’m good now. I’m heading that way, but have not yet reached the age of being a woman of a certain age. I know this because I’m still getting all my ideas for living my life in line. But now I know what I’m destined for, I can’t wait!