Chronic illness and a changing self

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Chronic illness eventually changes the way you think about life.  This seems to happen bit by bit every day. The speed of this change would depend on the illness severity and the personality of the person.  I actually think I can feel my thought patterns changing. Not only has my body slowed down, but my thinking and decision making has become a lot more controlled.  I am becoming a lot more wary of tension and emotional build up. Some people may look at this and think I am not excited or passionate or involved. I am those things, it is just a slow, paced excitement, if you get what I mean. I also make decisions based on something other than head or heart, but I am not entirely sure what it is. Maybe I have started making decisions based on intuition about what I need?

Here are some thought patterns that become the mainstay of those who manage illness over a long period of time:

– Treasure the small things.

– Treasure special times with family.

– Evaluate what is really important.

– Make the most of every opportunity.

– Make the most of the life you have been given.

– Only I understand what I am going through.

– I have to prioritise my needs over what other people expect of me.

People with chronic illnesses only have limited energy, limited patience, limited effort. Anything too draining emotionally or physically has to be cleansed from your life. Deciding what and who is important and what/who needs to drop by the way side is important.  You have to choose quality over quantity in many things, including relationships. It just isn’t worth it to have negative and toxic people suck the life out of you, literally.

Every day can be a different challenge and this never stops. You try to plan around your individual needs, but this doesn’t necessarily go to plan. Every day is a new day and we never know how that day will go.

Can you feel your inner self changing? What is new? What have you left behind?

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20 responses »

  1. It’s funny how we can go from feeling complete misery and like life is unfair, wondering is we are being completely punished for being born, etc. To then somewhere along the way, gratitude creeps in and we are teachers of receiving blessings, and find a certain joy beyond the suffering. And nothing is wrong with any of it… It’s all a natural part. Without one, there wouldn’t be the other.
    Thank you for writing this. I shared it and we are discussing it on facebook as I write this 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Definitely food for thought! I do feel that my inner self is changing; chronic pain has taught me to treasure what I am able to do-like you i have learned to prioritize and do those things that are important; let go of negativity and keep only positive people around. Thank you for this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Somewhere to vent and commented:
    It could have been me writing this. I feel myself changing. One main thing is that I’m becoming much less judgemental and this seems to be spreading to my family and friends.
    My dad was out with a friends last weekend and they saw a lady in a real posh sports car pull up in a disabled parking space. My dad’s friends rolls his eyes and says to my dad … ‘I bet there is nothing wrong with her!’
    My dad then replied ‘not all disabilities are visible you know. She could be like my daughter and may have chronic joint pain?’
    Low and behold the lady put her blue badge on display and started to try and get out of her car. She aparently looked like she was struggling so the couple parked next to her offered to help her. The husband was helping his wife out of their car and wanted to help the lady. Like me (very, very stubborn lol) she said she could manage and got out of the car very slowly and wobbly and slowly made her way into the store. She clearly looked like she was in a lot of pain.
    My dad’s friends looked and my dad and said ‘I will think twice next time… ‘. He was clearly shocked.

    Hopefully it is spreading in a positive way. Chronic long term illnesses are not always visible and only I can understand my condition fully.

    Here’s to an ever changing world and perspective 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. That’s a great story kimbaclay, I hope our families and friends are starting to “get” us and are more sympathetic towards others. You never do know what is going on in people’s lives. Thanks so much for the reblog 😀

    Like

  5. Pingback: Chronic illness and a changing self | lifewithlupus

  6. I think many people who have a chronic illness, or more than one, tend to be wiser. I think the longer you have the illness the more likely you are to grow wise beyond your years on many topics and areas of life. I have found that I can talk with people twice my age or more, and many people who also have chronic illnesses. I have learned to treasure what I can do now, my good days and those that I love because things can change so quickly medically and in my capabilities. I also have been working on treasuring past events from before I was ill and after it when I had more spoons or was able to do more. You seem to be very wise and this was a great post.

    Like

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