Some days I have a crazy frustrating circular fight going on in my head and I am sick of all the to-ing and fro-ing. A lot of these thoughts aren’t even that accurate, they are somehow twisted according to my mood or how stressed I feel or how fatigued I am or how much pain I am in. It might go like this:
There’s all these things to do.
I have to do something, now!
But, it’s such a lovely day to relax.
I need to relax for my health.
And there’s nice things to do like drawing.
But I have other things I should be doing.
Oh, I just noticed something else that needs doing.
So many things are being neglected.
I don’t like the way the things look.
I don’t have time to do them all.
Because I have to rest all the time so little gets done.
I hate that I feel like lead and that my body hurts as soon as I move to do something.
I shouldn’t do the lovely things I have waiting to do like drawing and reading and writing and art.
Because of all the things I have waiting to do that have to be done.
And I’m just sitting here debating what to do.
And doing nothing.
But I must have got some things done.
Because they are done and I have moved on to new things.
I ‘d better just decide what to do and start doing it.
I know, I’ll get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit.
Then I’ll start something.